What You Deserve
by noblecrescent
Summary: {One-Shot} After testifying against his own father, Nick has to deal with the consequences of facing his father after so much time. Alone, it seems rather impossible. Thankfully, his partner never seems to leave him alone. {Based on episode Padre Sandunguero}


**Author's Note:** Hello! Welcome to a one-shot including an OC and our lovely Detective Nick Amaro. This is essentially a rewrite of the ending of 16x12 that dealt with Nick's father going to trial for beating his fiancee. I saw the episode and couldn't believe no one was there to comfort Nick at the end so here's my version!

P.S: I imagine the OC to look like the actress Jenna Coleman.

* * *

It'd been a long day - a _really_ long day. And, despite all the hard work the SVU squad put into the case, they still failed. Granted it wasn't one of their easiest cases - not that any case concerning abuse was ever easy - but justice still failed to prevail. At least that was the perspective of the squad. The victim herself didn't even view herself as a victim. The heavy weight of the case, in reality, ended up landing on one particular SVU member instead.

The case against his father hadn't been as surprising for Nick as the others would've thought. He would never turn a blind eye towards his father's abusive side. It was why despite his family's disapproval, Nick agreed to testify on behalf of the prosecution. In the end, it still wasn't enough to convict but it was the action of getting up and speaking what went on within the Amaro family.

It did more worse than good...for Nick himself.

Detective Halston Kane did her best to keep her eyes on her computer and not on her partner across the desks. It got harder to do when there was less work to do and more fidgeting from Nick across. When most of the squad was gone, she thought it was better to leave herself too.

She started packing her things up, knowing some work would spill over to the mounting but the air was too dense to continue working with that painful silence. Everyone else had an easier go: Olivia had the office and Amanda, Fin and Sonny had their desks away.

"I need to go leave these in Liv's office. Don't turn the lights off," she managed to joke a little but it was all met with silence. Apparently, not even her fear of dark rooms would get a sarcastic response from Nick tonight. With an awkward smile, she grabbed her file and headed for Olivia's office.

As she was putting the file on Olivia's desk, she heard a new voice back in the main room. She wouldn't have to go detective since it was the same voice they'd heard in court. Nick's father had come and apparently, they would be doing some talking.

"You here to gloat?"

Halston winced. Nick's jabs were even worse when he was upset. _My God I have to get out of here._ She made a hasty walk towards the office door but stopped when the two men started going back and forth. _I'm stuck._ Her hands started pushing the office door shut instead, though left a decent crack open. She told herself it wouldn't even matter if the door was closed, she would still end up hearing the conversation anyways.

She did.

Nick's voice was louder each time he interrupted his father. He accused his father of continuing to lie, even on the stand. Despite that, his father never actually yelled. He only kept trying to get Nick to listen, to listen and believe him that his violent manners would be a thing of the past now.

Even Halston could smell that lie from a mile away. _He's got nerve_ , she admitted silently. The fact he kept going was another bold move in Halston's opinion.

"You're angry. You stay angry. As long as you want. Nicky, I'm just...I'm here because I'm your father, all right? You want to yell, just don't take it out on Maria or Sonya, or, God forbid, little Zara-"

That was where Nick drew the line. "I would never - I would never lay a hand on her! I am not you!" he practically shouted in his father's face.

Still, the older man remained calm. "Just talk. Just talk to me. You know? Just call me at 4:00 in the morning, tell me I ruined your life. Say whatever you got to say, Nicky. 'Cause this hatred that you have for me, Nicky...come on, it sits in your chest, it's in your gut."

Halston could see the restrain Nick was desperately hanging onto to keep so still. She gave him her props because that was always one of his problems. This was, however, different than the problems faced at SVU. It was personal, it was meaningful in the most painful way. It was a _father_. It was Nick and his father. It was pent up anger that...needed to be released one way or another.

"...do you get it? I'm not the one to fix it. _You_ got to fix it! I can't change the past. If you want to talk, I want to listen...when you're ready." Somewhere along the way, the father had slowed his words to see if he would get a reaction from Nick. The Detective seemed to struggle in silence, his face hardened yet with glistening eyes. "When you're ready," he assured Nick all the time in the world, if it would even make a difference.

Halston hid behind the office door despite being in the clear. She didn't want to go out there - reminding Nick she'd been in the room the whole time - but she very well couldn't stay in Olivia's office all damn night. She whipped out her phone and brought the screen to life. "Yes, mother. I completely understand!" she pulled open the office door, immediately seeing Nick flinch back into the real world and turn to his desk. "It's not like I had any plans tonight or anything..." Halston made a quick stride towards her desk, intending on keeping the fake conversation going until she was at least in the elevator.

But she just couldn't do it. Despite honestly thinking Nick was one of the most frustrating people in the world, she had a soft spot for him. Sure that soft spot may - _may_ \- be a little something more...he was hurting. She couldn't leave anyone hurting when she had a chance to help.

"I'll talk to you later, mom," Halston spoke quieter, even going as far as pretending to click the end button on her "call". She lowered her phone on the desk and awkwardly looked over to Nick. He was staring hard at the desk as if it were the first time he'd seen anything like it. "Nick, you don't-"

"-did you hear anything?" his sudden cold voice startled her into saying a quick "no" that she soon regretted. He pulled his jacket off his chair and quickly put it on to leave.

"But if I _had_ heard..." Halston found herself saying, fortunately stopping him midway out. She scrunched her face, hating herself for being so awkward when all she wanted to do was make him feel better. "Um, if I'd heard anything...um...I would consider-"

"- _consider_?" Nick repeated, the level of incredulity in his one worded response making her wince. "I thought you didn't hear anything?"

"May have heard a...couple words...here and there..." she fiddled with her fingers.

"Well, you know what, even if you had heard anything, it's not like you would understand," he came back in a quick stride. "You're Miss Perfect world, perfect family, perfect everything. Don't even try to understand!"

That _stung_. Halston Kane did live a pretty good life, but was it a crime? She looked away from his harsh gaze and told herself this was just a snappy, impulsive response of his. He wasn't thinking straight; she couldn't blame him.

Nick was able to see the pain of his words cross her face. His stomach churned with guilt. "Halston, I'm...I shouldn't be talking to anyone right now. I'm no good to anyone."

"I don't think that," Halston offered him a kind smile, only making his guilt worse. "In fact right now I think you need people around you, friends...family..."

He shook his head. "If you've forgotten, mine hates me at the moment."

"They don't. They're upset but...do you honestly think your mother would hate you? Your sister?"

"I don't know-"

"-Nick, c'mon-"

"-I just don't know!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, you do!" Halston matched his level of voice. She put her hands on his shoulders and forced him to look at her. "You know your family loves you and...and I think your father does too."

"Oh, don't-"

Halston put all her strength to keep him in place, hands gripping his shoulders. "He wasn't a good man, but...time passes and you can't keep all those feelings bottled up inside. He loves you, you know that, in his own way, and he's looking for reconciliation. Can you honestly say you have no intention of _ever_ talking to him?" Nick's leveled stare made her face feel warm - especially being so close - but she pushed those thoughts away for the moment. She moved her hands up to rest on his cheeks. "I'm here for whatever answer you have, but just listen to me for a second. All those feelings you have raging inside, those are the ones that need to come out. Whether it's with your father, a therapist, whoever can help you...they just need to come out. Talk to someone."

Nick unconsciously leaned into her touch. Her hands were warm and soft - in fact, that was just her in general. Why'd he lash out at her again? He gave a small nod as a response. He met her gaze, rather sheepishly, and nodded again. "I know..."

Halston smiled softly. "I know that you knew this. But leave it to me to have to remind you again what you need to do." This time her joke elicited a mutual chuckle between them.

There was a small moment of silence afterwards where they just stared at one another. Halston became aware her hands were still on Nick's face. She blushed and drew her hands back only to have him take them again. He rubbed gentle circles on the back of her hands all in the meanwhile his eyes were on hers. Halston was only aware of his intense gaze, but when his lips met hers it was a startling moment. She allowed herself just a second of weakness before she pulled away.

"I-I - we can't do that," she cleared her throat, awkwardly sitting at the edge of a nearby desk with her arms crossed. She was sure her face was getting redder by the second. "We can't..."

"I'm sorry, I thought..." Nick cleared his own threat, really unable to string more words together.

"No, you don't have to apologize-"

"-I thought that there was a-"

"-it's really okay," Halston made a wave of her hand. "You're not at your best and I don't want you to think that I'm-I'm taking advantage of that-"

"That's _not_ what I thought," Nick suddenly went into a snap. She blinked with surprise, swallowing hard for fear that she'd pushed him even more. She was meant to be doing him good but maybe she was just wasn't good for it. Nick inwardly groaned. The words weren't coming to him. He ran a hand through his hair, turning to the side for a moment to get himself together.

In that silence, Halston assumed her responsibility. "Nick, I'm sorry. I'm trying to help you but...I think I'm just making things worse. I'll just go..."

"No, y-you don't have to do that," Nick turned back and walked up to the woman, locking her between the desk and him. "You're helping - you're really helping."

"Am I?" Halston made a face, clearly doubting herself. "Because it looks like you're ready to explode. Before that you...you kind of just looked sad. It's like you said, I live to make you mad."

"Well..." Nick swayed his head, earning himself a shove. He chuckled and agreed. It was his favorite thing to remind her each time she got on his nerves. He got serious though when he noticed her sheepish stare. They were once again close, very close, and that rarely happened except when they were in arguments. Now that he got a better feel of the moment, he felt an aura of support around her. She was there, with him, _waiting_ for him to pull himself together after his father.

"You know, Halston, you're actually not that annoying..." he smiled when she laughed.

" _That's_ the best you can do?"

"Give me a couple hours, I can come up with something better," his promise came as a surprise to her. It must have been evident on her face because he inched closer to her again, foreheads just barely touching. "Thank you for staying behind and...talking to me. I don't deserve that."

"Everyone deserves to be listened," Halston quietly said, offering one of her kind smiles again. "I just hope that you follow my advice. It doesn't have to be anyone from the squad, or even your family...just _someone_."

"Yeah," Nick gave a small nod, considering his options for a moment. His attention was driven back to her, however, without his consent. Having her so close was something different tonight. It was more intimate, more...close. "You think...we could...talk...? Doesn't have to be today, or...or tomorrow-"

Halston put a hand over his mouth and nodded her head. "I will listen whenever you want."

"Do you want go get some drinks, then?" the words just seemed to come tumbling out his mouth before his mind could process what he wanted. "Because, you know, I know you weren't actually talking to your mom earlier. You don't have plans."

Halston's response was another shove on his chest. "I could have plans! You're just...you're just lucky that's not tonight."

"So that's a...?"

"Yes," Halston gently pushed him back enough so that she could move to her own desk. "But we're talking about _you_. I don't want this to turn into a session of silence, alright?"

"It won't," Nick promised her. He watched her collect her belongings and put on her coat.

She pushed back her brunette hair to adjust the collars of her coat and met his gaze with a cheery smile. "Ready?"

"There's just one more thing..."

"What is it?"

Nick's answer came in the form of a confident stride towards her. His hands found her face and pulled her into a deep kiss where neither hesitated to give in. They pulled apart after a minute, both rather breathless but their newfound smiles expressed all the feelings bubbling inside.


End file.
